There is no way at this moment I feel like blogging, so for that reason...I am hoping to get some things off my chest and pray these feelings go away!!!! It was a decent day, then somewhere this evening things took a turn for the worst. I was short and snappy to my mom and Dallas :( I made both of them cry as well as myself. I'm going to start my period this week, and man these hormones certainly do take a dip, surge or something. The feelings I get are awful I tell ya. Like I need a dr to know what's going on and fix me! I don't know if it's my crazy lady pill or my birth control or what it is...or could just be that I need to cut Lance out of my life as much as I can. I'm trying to focus on starting my life over for D & I. I am trying to make good choices. I feel so needy and helpless. I feel so alone & whiney. I'm laying in bed, crying next to my son while he's sleeping so peacefully. I feel lost in this big ol' world. Sometimes I look back and wonder why does it have to be this way?? I never wanted this, I just wanted my husband to love me & pay attention to me. He doesn't understand me. He doesn't even know me anymore. I don't even know who I am. I feel like everyday is a step forward but to where? I don't know where I'm going. I know that I've got to invest more in God.
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